As I watched from the balcony I noticed a big, strong man walk up to the group. Several men who looked to be his bodyguards accompanied him. He walked up to people individually and began to whisper something in their ear. The atmosphere quickly changed and one by one the people who made up the “Church” became intimidated.

I realized this man was Satan.

He had something on all of us that he was holding over our heads, something we had not totally given over to God or something from our past.

With the realization of who he was I became very angry. I walked inside and as I began to pace back and forth something rose up from within me. I marched right back outside and yelled with authority,

Be quiet and get out of here in the name of Jesus!

He looked at me and without saying a word he turned around and left with his men.

One of Satan’s greatest strategies is to discourage us, by reminding us of our past. He knows if he can just get us to remember how bad we really were then we will not feel worthy of the call in front of us. If he can just make us believe that we will fail again like every other time we have in the past than we might just stop trying. Or maybe because that sin wasn’t too far in the past we feel hypocritical to move forward in our walk with God.

It is a lie of the enemy!

Because of Christ’s work on the cross we have been cleansed and are blameless before Him.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17

He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. Ephesians 1:7

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. Romans 6:6

Resist the lies of the Enemy and become all that God wants you to be!

In the short time that my husband and I have been pioneering a church in Chicago, I have realized that without unity a church is powerless. Without unity a marriage will shatter. Pride, self-centeredness, selfishness, sin, anger, and bitterness are all things that will bring about this in-house conflict.

Our lives, our marriages, and our churches are all supposed to reflect the oneness in our relationship with Christ. Instead, with divorce rates just as high as non-believers and church splits happening all the time, we are failing to be that light by not loving one another. In John 17:20-26, Jesus prays for the unity of all believers. He prays for unity for a specific reason,

“that the world may believe that you sent Me”.

He is saying that the world will look at our lives. They will look! What will they see? What they see will determine what they believe!

Psalm 133:1 says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” Unity brings strength. Even with non-Christians this is true. God looked down on the tower of Babel and said, “Indeed the people are one and they have one language, now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them” (Gen 11:6). There is nothing impossible for people who are working together in unity. With unity the church can win the world.

In the Bible, when God wanted to destroy the enemy, He sent division among them and caused them to fight themselves. Jesus said in Luke 11:17,

“Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation,

and a house divided against a house falls.”

The best of plans can be destroyed if we lack unity. Satan knows this and does everything he can to cause division among believers. Our focus turns off of God and onto each other’s weak points.

Personally, it is difficult for me, as a pastor’s wife, to hear some of the negative stuff people say about my husband. Over the years we have heard it all! They don’t like the way he sings, they don’t like the way he teaches, they don’t like the way offering is taken up, they don’t like when he outreaches, they don’t like how he outreaches. Why don’t they just say straight up that they don’t like him! Oh and I love this, when they add at the end, “Don’t take it personal”. Excuse me? But you just fired a personal assault on him!

Granted, being “one” does not mean we will have the same thoughts or ideas on everything. That’s ok! Division comes in when you take your eyes off of God and the purpose of the church. You let those differences take root in your heart thinking your way is better. Pride causes division!

Indeed we are one body made up of many parts. The problem is when we don’t know what body part we are. Stop trying to be the hand when you are the foot. If you don’t like the way the pastor does things, stop trying to be the pastor! That is not your role in the body. If you’re a knee be a knee! The same goes within your marriages, if you are not the husband stop wearing the pants! These things cause disunity.

Unity comes from within; it is a matter of the heart.

The Lord has been showing me even in my heart where there is disunity. When people are constantly negative it gets discouraging and I tend to get defensive. It’s a sign of pride in my own life. I don’t want other people’s actions to cause me to sin. I don’t want to be a bitter person! Just because someone is critical, I don’t want to be critical back, and I have been. I thank Jesus that He is truly the ultimate example of love and unity and forgiveness. Let us look deep within our own hearts if we have been a source of disunity in the Church or in our marriages. Let us forgive and let us love so that the world can look upon us and know that Jesus is Lord!

In the spiritual realm we have similar junk food distractions.

TOO BUSY. TOO TIRED. TOO DISCOURAGED. TOO MUCH TV. TOO MUCH COMPUTER.

And the list can go on and on.

Are we experiencing spiritual malnutrition? Are we joyless, depressed, unfruitful, unsatisfied, unfulfilled, and spiritually sluggish? Satan’s strategy is to cut us off from our food supply. When we overlook bible reading, prayer, worship, and fellowship with other believers we become an easy victim for the enemy’s attack. Just like we become weak in the physical realm when we don’t eat food, we become weak spiritually when we don’t feed ourselves the bread of life.

In Isaiah 55 it says,

WAIT and listen, everyone who is thirsty! Come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Yes, come, buy [priceless, spiritual] wine and milk without money and without price [simply for the self-surrender that accepts the blessing].

Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your earnings for what does not satisfy? Hearken diligently to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness [the profuseness of spiritual joy].

Incline your ear [submit and consent to the divine will] and come to Me; hear, and your soul will revive; and I will make an everlasting covenant or league with you, even the sure mercy (kindness, goodwill, and compassion) promised to David. (Amplified version)

We are to come, listen, seek, and call on God. His salvation is freely offered. We are to hunger and thirst after the knowledge of the Lord and not after the perishable things this world offers. Let us not forget to strengthen ourselves spiritually! I know how easy it is to get distracted but let’s get back on course to being a healthy Christian.

I was in the Christian Bookstore this past week looking for the next book to dive into. As I walked up and down each aisle and my eyes scanned each title, I quickly grew frustrated.

CHOCOLATE THIS. CHOCOLATE THAT. FRAZZLE THIS. FRAZZLE THAT.

Every woman’s book seemed to have either the word chocolate or frazzled in the title somewhere. Normally, as a woman, I connect with these kinds of books. I even enjoy reading them. But on this day and this season of my life something inside me yearned for something more, something a little deeper. No. Not for something a little deeper but for something WAY deeper.

I want more. I want more of God! I’m tired of going through the motions. I’m tired of the storms that rage around me. I don’t even care to silence them anymore. I just want to draw close into my Father’s arms. I want to feel safe. I don’t care about what is happening around me. I’m tired. I’m tired of trying not to drown in the waves that come crashing down. Gasping for air. I want to let go. Let go of ideas, dreams and visions. Let go of trying so hard to accomplish something. Everything.

CAN I JUST STOP AND REST AT YOUR FEET?

In Mark 4:35 Jesus said to His disciples, “Let us cross over to the other side.” When the storm came and the waves crashed in all around, the disciples were in fear of drowning. After rebuking the wind and sea Jesus asked His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

Maybe like me you are in the middle of the sea, going to the other side just like God told you. The storms of trials are crashing on top of you. You’re desperately trying to gasp for air, you’re scared and you feel alone. Let us remember that Jesus is in the boat with us. He is in that situation, He is right there in the midst of that trial with you.

Jesus said, “Let us go over to the other side” not to the middle of the lake to be drowned. ~Daniel Crawford.

I pulled my wedding dress out of the bag. It had a yellowish tint and was full of wrinkles. Why didn’t I think to have it cleaned before the ceremony? Across the room I saw one of the groomsmen steaming his tux. I quickly made my way to the other side of the room and asked if I could steam my dress.

The time was approaching and I knew there was no way I would be ready.

I grabbed two close friends and my mom to help out. Watching my friends do everything possible to help, I felt bad that I didn’t think to ask them sooner to be in the wedding. Now with no time left to find dresses, my heart was sad that they would not be by my side during the most important day of my life.

I glanced at the clock and realized I was an hour late already.

The food for the reception was set out, but after looking at the plates, I didn’t think there would be enough food for everyone. Surely the food would get cold before the ceremony even started. Finding someone in the family, I asked them to help out by making more food.

This time I looked at the clock and was horrified that I was now three hours late.

Then to top it off, I looked down I saw that my stockings were torn and full of holes. My makeup and hair were still not done. I asked my mom to concentrate on my makeup while I pulled my stockings off, deciding not to wear them at all. Wait! My shoes. I forgot to buy shoes. I couldn’t possibly wear the black clunky ones I came in. I’ll just go barefoot I thought.

Slowly the music from the alarm clock woke me up. The first thought that filled my mind was…

…”ARE YOU READY?”

Ephesians 5:27 (New International Version)
“…and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

Ephesians 5:27 (New Century Version)
“He died so that he could give the church to himself like a bride in all her beauty. He died so that the church could be pure and without fault, with no evil or sin or any other wrong thing in it.”

Revelation 19:7
Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come and his bride has made herself ready.

Matthew 25
The Parable of the Ten Virgins

Post Office. 1:00pm. I walk in expecting to see a very short line. I mean after all everyone is at work, right? Nope. I join the other 10 people who have been waiting in line for who knows how long. Spotting 3 workers, I am optimistic at first. Then all 3 disappear. Ok, here is where the complaining begins. One returns and an hour later I finally make it to the front of the line.

I have come to realize that I’m not a very patient person. It’s either that or Chicago has made me this way. Waiting in line at the post office, waiting in negative degree weather to pick up the girls from school, waiting in traffic, waiting to find a parking spot, waiting for God to show up, waiting for someone to get saved!

Maybe one of the reasons God sent us to Chicago was for me to learn patience. No I haven’t mastered this one yet. Actually I just realized how impatient I am that day at the post office. My first and only reaction has been to complain and grumble. I know I haven’t always been this way. Unfortunately this is what I have become and this bothers me.

I think the problem is that sometimes we rush off doing stuff, most of the time doing nothing. Yea, we wait in line, but are we really in such a big hurry to be somewhere else. Most of the time we are just frustrated.

Each day is a new day and daily we need to be filled by His Spirit.

The rain fell hard, melting the very snow that covered the ground much of this winter. Just the thought that it had rained meant the weather was finally warming up. Could spring be just around the corner?

It’s been an unusually tough winter for me. It’s the extreme cold that just won’t give me a break. I don’t want to venture outside the house. I want to get under every cover and blanket that there is in my Chicago apartment and hibernate for the winter. I want to put on every piece of clothing, every sweatshirt with a hood until I am warm. I want to eat chili just because it sounds hot.

The rain finally ended and the remnants of winter are gone. I expected to see hope of spring coming, new life waiting to sprout, dirt and grim from the salt infused snow to be washed away. Instead my eyes were fixed upon trash that the snow had hidden.

The garbage was there the whole winter, but it wasn’t until the rain had come that is was brought to view. This winter my life has been in survival mode, trying to make it day by day. Layering myself with clothes to keep warm. Spring is soon to be here and with that the layers have to come off. The rain will fall and with anticipation new growth will occur.

With the storms of life new things will surface. There will be evidence of what we need to work on. These things are brought to the surface in open view so that we can begin to change and grow. They have always been there, just hidden beneath the harsh winter snow.

This year we decided to share our family tradition and make it our church family tradition as well. Whichever country we pick from now on we will support a missionary from that country as well. So this year we celebrated with a Polish meal together and gave a special offering to the Menchacas, who will be starting a new work in Poland.

Here I am in the city of Chicago. Moving here two years ago was not a hard thing for me to do. I attended college in Chicago many years ago and fell in love with this city. Soon after I fell in love with my best friend, Zack.

This city is full of so many memories that bring me joy. So you see it wasn’t hard at all for me to return. The decision was easy and actually it was long awaited.

Not knowing a single person we sold our house, packed our belongings, and moved to Chicago to start a church. I guess you would call us a struggling church plant. Yes, things have been tough at times. There have also been glimpses of hope and lessons learned through this journey called life.

I thought I would blog about this journey.

Sometimes writing brings healing when we express the things that weigh heavy on our hearts. Sometimes writing opens our eyes to see the lessons learned in everyday ordinary events. And sometimes reading another’s thoughts and observations makes us realize that we’re not alone, we are connected in so many ways.